EP23: The Fear of Looking Weird!

I was thinking the other day about why more people are not marketing online in some form or fashion.

I get it that there’s the learning curve that needs to take place, let alone the fact that people have been LIED to for the last couple of decades into thinking being online is easy.

The concept of online seems easy, but the reality of everything that needs to be done to accomplish a person's goals is anything but.

No, I understand those roadblocks.

Those I can help people with.

There is another issue that I don’t think we look at very often.

There is this issue of “Looking Weird” in front of our friends, relatives, co-workers, and the like.

Let alone, having to wonder what our friends on social media will think of us.

As human beings we are fragile.

We try our best to stand tall and appear to be an adult and all, but really, inside we are still children sometimes. At least it appears to look that way.

Not young children, heck no, they don’t care what people think. They are still discovering the world and everything is interesting to them.

They cannot wait to do everything.

No, I’m talking about someone a bit older.

Maybe it’s just me, but I remember being afraid to stand out in school.

Middle school and the beginning of High School scared the crap out of me.

I was different.

I thought differently about things.

I looked at the world with a different slant than my peers and family did.

Because of that, I did not communicate with them too much.

I kept to myself A LOT.

That affected how I communicated with the world for a long time.

Thankfully, once I joined the military, and came to find out I had a new set of parents, my world changed. It had to. I was not given a choice in the matter.

So, I was forced out of my shell, and I started learning how to communicate with others.

And once I was put into a position of command with human beings I was now responsible for, I had to become a leader.

That was not easy.

They can tell if leadership is NOT your strong suit. Let me tell you, people will take advantage of you unless you learn to stand up for yourself, your convictions, and own your decisions.

While it took the military to get me to stop fearing confrontation and to own my own choices, not everyone has had that experience.

So what can everyone else do to lose that fear of putting themselves out there in the world for all to see?

Have you ever gone knocking on doors and just talking to people that open the door?

That is a very common fear.

When I first started doing it, I was afraid too.

Heck, I have had people tell me some very unkind words, to say the least.

Don’t get me wrong, I did not just go out there all by myself and start conversing with people.

No way!

I followed the lead of someone who was much more experienced than I.

I followed along and watched how he interacted with others.

How did he introduce himself?

What did he talk about?

How did he create a conversation with the homeowner?

Soon, I jumped into the conversation with him and started feeling better and less intimidated.

Eventually, I was the one knocking on the door.

Sure I screwed it up more than not and was advised how to do things differently.

You know what?

Eventually, I got the hang of it.

Now I can walk up to almost anyone and start a conversation.

You may say, OK Jim, great story, how does that help me?

Glad you asked.

My problem was that I had preconceived ideas about what people would say at the doors. I was creating my own worse fears.

I think most people do the same thing, or something similar to it.

Putting yourself out there online or in emails puts you in front of other people.

It is something that you MUST do.

You need to create a personal brand.

Sure you want people to know your company's name, but you also need for them to see YOU!

That does mean putting yourself in a position to receive criticism and negative comments.

It is good to know that everyone who is anyone has had to do the same thing. Most of them had those same fears, and they pushed through the fear and put themselves out there in harm's way.

They had to stop worrying about what everyone else thought.

Building your brand is about building a connection with your audience.

Do not forget, at the end of the day, people buy from people, not from companies.

And if you do get negative comments, you can either reply to them or block them. But by being cool and replying calmly, you will find that more people will come to your aid.

At the end of the day, it says more about them than it does about you. Their negativity reflects their self-worth, and it has nothing to do with who they are or what you are doing.

If you do have a feeling of being an imposter, look at that and ask yourself why you feel that way.

Many times, people feel that way, and all along they are experts in their field.

Whatever your business is in the business of doing, look at the good you are doing for others.

If you do still need to pick up a few skills to accomplish your goals, then take a course or listen to a podcast.

Learn it and get back out there.

Also, focus on being yourself. Let your unique personality shine through.

Don’t try to be like someone you are not.

Your audience will connect with your personality, and you will end up building a much more engaged tribe.

You cannot serve everyone.

No one can!

So go out there and serve the ones that learn to like you, for who you are.

You have a passion.

Let it shine through.

You have a skill.

Use it to help others.

You have a mission.

Go ahead and make it happen.

Don’t let self-doubt stop you from achieving your goals.

Don’t let it stop you from living your dream life.

Remember, you are in charge of who you want to be.

No one else can take away your dream.

Unless you let them.

Thanks for joining along in this episode.

If you think you know of some improvements that could be made, let me know. Click on the link here.

Keep coming back for more great content next week.

Thanks for being here.

James Brown